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The Truth About Traditional Divorce & Why it Costs so Much

Ever wondered why traditional divorce takes years and costs so much? I am sharing the truth behind how most divorces go and pointing out all of the truly unnecessary steps, trauma, and costs that can all be avoided! Here are five terrible truths about the traditional divorce process



  • Lawyers Are Expensive and Unnecessary - Traditional divorce requires each spouse to "lawyer up". That means you need two lawyers, each with a $5k retainer. So your family is out $10K before anything even happens! Lawyers will immediately jump into telling you what you need to do rather than asking you about how you want to go through the process. Typically they pit the spouses against one another even more than they already are - resulting in trauma for everyone.

  • Outdated Legal Processes Create More Problems - Traditional divorce follows a script that is written and controlled by mountains of outdated court rules and procedures. It starts with lawyers making sure that they are “protecting your interests,” by following these old-school procedures that are a waste of your time and your money. For example, you likely know how much money you have - but your lawyers will waste tons of your time handing over paperwork and "reviewing" everything in depth to ensure you are right. Every time one of your lawyers asks for a document, reviews the document, or sends you an email - you rack up hundreds of dollars in fees.

  • Proceedings Are Drawn Out & Costly - Traditional divorce doesn’t take place in a unified way. In most places, your lawyer starts three separate proceedings to address the universal issues of custody, support, and asset division. That means three sets of court documents prepared, three filing fees, and at least three court dates. Typically these get drawn out with pre-hearing steps that aren't necessary. Usually, your retainers are completely eaten up just by starting this process and are long gone well before you ever see the inside of a courtroom.

  • Court Appearances Are Inconvenient - The court does not care what your schedule looks like when they pick a day for you to show up at the courthouse. Coordinating schedules for lawyers and people involved is next to impossible, resulting most of the time in logistical nightmares that are costly. Every time someone is unavailable, it requires communication between the lawyers (costs you money), then the lawyers need to communicate with the court (costs you money), then the court has to respond to your lawyer (costs you money), then the lawyer has to respond to you (and you guessed it– costs you money).

  • Costs Are Huge and Completely Unneeded - The biggest reason divorce takes years and costs tens of thousands of dollars is every time you or your lawyer steps foot near the courthouse it costs you at least $1,000. If they have a hearing scheduled, they need to prepare (cha-ching- hours spent talking to you and reviewing documents). Then they have to drive to the courthouse (hope they live close). They have to wait for the judge (who may or may not show up on time). Then you have to wait for your turn (there may be 10 other families waiting to be heard). When it’s finally your turn, they actually need to conduct the hearing. Then there are the after-hearing letters and follow-ups, correspondence from the court, etc.


I don’t mean to scare you with all of this–it’s just the reality of our broken divorce court system.


This reality is a big reason why even couples who were reluctant to try mediation have success with the Family Transitions program. You will be given all of the information needed to make informed decisions about custody, support, and asset division without ever filing a document at the courthouse. You can create one comprehensive settlement agreement in as little as six months.


Let's schedule a free consultation (no strings attached) to learn more about the options available to you!



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