“How Do I Know If I’m Making the Right Decision?”

This is often the quietest (and heaviest) question people carry when they’re contemplating divorce.

Not “Should I get divorced?”Not “Can I survive this?”

But: “How do I know if I’m making the right decision?”

If you’re asking this, you’re not weak, indecisive, or failing. You’re thoughtful. You care deeply about the consequences, not just for yourself, but for your children, your family, and the life you’ve built.

And that alone tells us something important.

The Myth of Absolute Certainty

One of the biggest misconceptions about divorce is that clarity arrives as a lightning bolt, sudden, undeniable, and final.

In reality, most people don’t reach 100% certainty before making a decision. What they reach instead is something quieter and more honest:

• A growing awareness that the current situation isn’t sustainable

• A sense that staying requires you to keep shrinking

• A realization that “trying harder” would mean abandoning yourself

  
  

The right decision doesn’t always feel good at first, but it often feels true.

Doubt Doesn’t Mean You’re Wrong

Doubt is often interpreted as a warning sign. But when it comes to divorce, doubt can actually be a sign of responsibility and care.

You can feel:

• Grief and relief

• Fear and clarity

• Sadness and hope

All at the same time.

Making the right decision doesn’t mean you won’t mourn what you’re losing. It means you’re honoring what you need.

Questions That Offer Real Insight

Instead of asking, “Is this the right decision?” try asking:

• If nothing changed, could I live like this five years from now?

• Am I staying because things are good—or because leaving feels scary?

• Do I feel more like myself when I imagine staying, or when I imagine leaving?

• If my child were in this situation as an adult, what would I hope they’d choose?

These questions don’t push you toward divorce; they push you toward truth.

The Difference Between Fear and Intuition

Fear is loud. It spirals. It asks “what if” endlessly.

Intuition is quieter. It’s steady. It doesn’t rush you, but it doesn’t go away either.

Many people tell us they’ve had the same inner voice for years, gently tapping on their shoulder, asking for attention. They just weren’t ready to listen yet.

When you’re making the right decision, you may still feel afraid, but you’ll often feel a subtle sense of alignment beneath it.

There Is No Perfect Choice. Only an Aligned One.

Divorce isn’t about choosing between a good option and a bad one. It’s about choosing between two futures; both with challenges, both with growth.

The “right” decision is the one that allows you to:

• Live more honestly

• Model self-respect and emotional health

• Create a stable, peaceful future—whether that’s together or apart

• Stop living in constant internal conflict

Peace doesn’t always come immediately. But over time, many people say the same thing: “I wish I had trusted myself sooner.”

You Don’t Have to Decide Alone

At Family Transitions, we don’t tell you what decision to make. We help you understand yourself more clearly so that your decision feels grounded, not rushed, pressured, or driven by fear.

Sometimes the right next step isn’t divorce. Sometimes it is. But either way, Family Transitions makes sure our couples get the answers and support they need to evaluate what two households looks like, and how they would get there, when the time comes.  

If you’re asking, “How do I know if I’m making the right decision?”—that’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you’re ready to stop ignoring yourself.

And that’s always the beginning of something honest. Contact us today for a consultation.