Contemplating Joy — Even Now

How to Notice, Invite, and Create Joy During the Most Difficult Seasons of Divorce

When you’re navigating divorce, joy can feel like a foreign word; something distant, unrealistic, or reserved for a future version of yourself who isn’t dealing with so many questions, decisions, and emotions. It’s easy to believe that joy isn’t allowed right now, or that it would somehow minimize the pain or complexity of what you’re going through.

But here’s the gentle truth:

Joy isn’t an all-or-nothing feeling. And it doesn’t disappear during hard seasons (it simply gets quieter).

Sometimes we have to slow down enough to notice it.Sometimes we have to create the conditions where it can exist.And sometimes, contemplating joy is the first step in remembering that life can feel good again, even if only for a moment.

This month, we’re exploring what joy looks like during divorce, why it matters, and how to invite more of it into your daily life without pressuring yourself to feel differently than you do.

Joy Doesn’t Cancel Out Pain

One of the biggest myths about joy during divorce is the idea that if you allow yourself to feel something good, it means the difficult feelings weren’t real or valid. But emotions don’t work like that.

You can feel sadness and relief.

Fear and hope.

Grief and joy.

Human emotions are layered, contradictory, and often beautifully complicated. Joy doesn’t erase pain; it simply sits beside it, softening the sharp edges and reminding you that light still exists.

Joy Often Starts Small

When life feels overwhelming, joy rarely arrives as a big, sweeping emotion. Instead, it tends to show up quietly:

✨ A warm drink in your hands

✨ Sunlight touching your face

✨ A song you forgot you loved

✨ A peaceful car ride

✨ A child’s laughter that catches you off guard

✨ A deep breath that feels grounding

These small moments matter. They create micro-rests for the nervous system, giving you space to breathe, to soften, and to remember that even in the hardest chapters, you are still capable of feeling something good.

Contemplating Joy Means Making Space for It

Contemplating joy is not forcing yourself to be happy.It’s not denying your grief.It’s not pretending you’re okay when you’re not.

It’s simply creating space for joy to show up.

That might look like:

🌿 Pausing long enough to notice one good thing each day

🌿 Spending time with someone who brings ease to your life

🌿 Letting yourself smile at something small without guilt

🌿 Doing something you used to love, even if it feels different now

🌿 Letting yourself imagine a future that feels calmer and more stable

Joy becomes easier to access when you stop waiting for the “right” moment and instead allow it to exist alongside everything else.

Joy Is Still Available to You

Divorce is a season of change, but it is not the end of joy. In fact, many people discover new types of joy during this period:

💛 The joy of reclaiming your voice

💛 The joy of making choices that align with who you are now

💛 The joy of watching your children adapt and thrive

💛 The joy of connection, even if your support system shifts

💛 The joy of imagining a life that feels peaceful and authentic

Your joy may look different from how it used to.It may be quieter, slower, or more intentional. But it is still yours, and still possible.

If you’ve been overwhelmed, numb, or simply focused on “getting through,” you are not doing anything wrong. Joy isn’t something we demand of ourselves — it’s something we gently reconnect with when we’re ready.

This month, we invite you to reflect on this question:

Where can joy find you right now — even if just for a moment?

And if your journey feels heavy, confusing, or isolating, remember that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Support, clarity, and steadiness are available to you.

👉 Explore how Family Transitions can guide you through your next steps

You are worthy of peace.You are worthy of hope.

And yes — even now — you are worthy of joy.