It took two “a-ha” moments for me to finally accept that my marriage is over, and they both happened in the summer, two epiphanies, two summers, six years apart. That’s how long I waited after the first a-ha moment.
The first epiphany was at the beach, after a ridiculous fight over something that still makes no sense to me. After that fight, I remember looking in the bathroom mirror and saying to myself “we are getting a divorce.” It was the first time I had said the words out loud, and the first time I realized that my marriage was unsustainable. Nonetheless, it took me six more years to say those words to my husband.
My second epiphany, six years later, happened as I was sitting at the pool reading “Fifty Shades of Gray.” Don't laugh!!! A girlfriend had recommended it to me, and I had been reluctant to read it, thinking it was purely smut. And while there is no question that the smut factor is incredibly high, what struck me about the book was how the main characters FELT about each other. How they LOOKED at each other. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I had never been in a relationship, even at the very beginning of dating my husband, where anyone had ever felt like that about me. A big part of me wasn't sure it was even possible, but I knew I was never going to figure that out in my lonely marriage.
And even though we looked like the perfect family from the outside, I was sick of pretending.
If you are trapped in an unhappy relationship, the thought of another summer spent pretending to be content can be overwhelming. If the idea of faking smiles and forced vacations with your spouse fills you with dread, now is the time to consider making a change.
The Reality of Pretending
Living in an unhappy relationship takes a toll on your mental, emotional, and even physical health. The effort it takes to maintain a façade of happiness, especially during summer vacations and family events, can be exhausting. Instead of dreading these moments, imagine a summer where you genuinely feel joy and peace. It's possible, but it requires taking that first brave step towards change.
Trust Yourself
The decision to end a marriage or long-term relationship is never easy. It involves fear, uncertainty, and a leap into the unknown. However, it also holds the promise of a new beginning. Trusting yourself enough to seek help and guidance is crucial. At Family Transitions Divorce Coaching and Mediation, we understand the complexity of this journey. We are here to provide the support and guidance you need to navigate this transition.
The Power of Starting Now
Starting the process now means that by this time next year, you could be living the life you've always dreamed of. Picture a summer filled with genuine smiles, real relaxation, and the freedom to enjoy life on your terms. It won't be an easy road, but the destination is worth the effort. With professional coaching and mediation, you can move through the process more smoothly, focusing on your well-being and future happiness.
Steps to Take
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize that your unhappiness is valid and that you deserve to feel fulfilled.
Seek Professional Help: Reach out to a divorce coach or mediator who can guide you through the emotional and logistical aspects of the separation.
Follow a Plan: Envision your ideal life and then work backwards to determine the steps to get there. Family Transitions guides couples through a step-by-step process if you need help navigating this road.
Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your mental and physical health during this time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
This summer doesn't have to be another chapter in an unhappy story. It can be the beginning of a new, fulfilling life. Trust yourself enough to take the first step towards change. At Family Transitions Divorce Coaching and Mediation, we are here to support you every step of the way. Embrace the possibility of a brighter future and start your journey today. By next summer, you could be living the life you've been dreaming of.
For more information and to schedule your consultation, contact us today! Let's make this summer the start of something beautiful.
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