When you first start thinking about divorce, it's often accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions and questions.
How long will it take?
How much will it cost?
What will my life look like on the other side?
All of these normal concerns can make divorce overwhelming. Unfortunately, when you go through a traditional divorce many of the answers to these questions remain a mystery until the very end of the process.
The Long Road of Traditional Divorce
For many, the journey begins with a simple Google search: "How to get a divorce." This is where the long road often starts. From that first search to the final filing of divorce paperwork, the process can drag on for years. The average divorce, with kids, a house, and some retirement accounts, takes 18-36 months. This is for a NEGOTIATED DIVORCE. This means, two attorneys going back and forth to reach an agreement, not arguing in court.
For those who need a judge to get involved, it can take infinitely longer and can cost more than $50k per family. Here are the typical steps:
1. Contemplation and Decision-Making
The time of the ACTUAL divorce process doesn’t even include the months, or even years, that people struggle with the decision to divorce. During this time, individuals may spend countless hours researching, consulting friends, and even seeking preliminary legal advice. This is certainly not living your best life!
2. The Legal Maze
Once the decision is made, the next step typically involves hiring a lawyer. This is where things can start to slow down significantly. Lawyers often have busy schedules, and their first step is to gather information, which takes months. The court calls this process “Discovery,” and it also costs thousands of dollars.
Once all of the info is gathered to the lawyers’ satisfaction, THEN they will begin their formal discussions. During the months between the time you hire your lawyer and start these discussions, you are in limbo, waiting to move forward.
The next hurdle is the court system itself, with its slow-moving timeline. Scheduling court dates, filing motions, and waiting for responses can stretch the process out even further. For example, let's just say you and your spouse are fighting over who will be living in the house. Your lawyer will file a petition with the court to ask a judge to decide. The date for your petition to be heard will be at least thirty days away. If the assigned date doesn’t work for one of the lawyers or you or your spouse, and the date needs to be moved, it will be delayed by at least another thirty days. During the two months in between, nothing happens. You just wait.
This is just one example of how time goes by so quickly in the traditional process. And keep in mind that getting an answer from the court on just this issue will also cost several thousands of dollars in legal fees.
3. The Emotional Toll
The traditional divorce process is not just lengthy and expensive, but also emotionally draining. Each court appearance feels combative and overwhelming, as you are thrust into an unfamiliar world of rules and procedures. The stress of this just drags you deeper into a cycle of conflict. The more contentious the divorce, the longer it will take, as each side digs in and fights over every detail.
4. The Financial Burden
All of this comes at a cost—literally. Lawyers charge by the hour, and the more drawn-out the process, the higher the legal fees. This financial strain adds to the emotional burden, creating a situation where the cost of divorce extends beyond just money—it impacts your mental health and your future.
A Better Way: Divorce Mediation and Coaching
At Family Transitions, we believe there’s a better way. Our process is designed to put you back in control, cutting down on the time, cost, and emotional toll of divorce.
1. Speeding Up the Process
Unlike the traditional process that can take years, our mediation and coaching approach typically takes just 4-8 months from start to finish. We focus on helping you and your spouse reach a mutually agreeable solution, eliminating the need for lawyers and protracted legal battles.
2. Reducing Emotional Stress
Divorce doesn’t have to be a battleground. Through mediation, we facilitate calm, productive conversations that focus on resolving issues rather than exacerbating them. This approach not only shortens the timeline but also reduces the emotional stress involved. By looking FORWARD and helping you reach your vision for your future, we reduce the stress and anger involved in looking backward at why you are getting divorced.
3. Lowering Costs
Without the need for extensive legal involvement, the costs associated with our process are significantly lower. You’ll avoid the mounting legal fees that come with a traditional divorce, leaving you with more financial security as you move forward.
Imagine Your Life in Six Months
Picture yourself six months from now—living the life you’ve been dreaming of, without the shadow of legal debt hanging over you. At Family Transitions, we help you move through the divorce process calmly and efficiently, so you can start your new chapter sooner.
If you’re ready to take control of your divorce and your future, reach out to us. Let’s work together to make your transition as smooth and swift as possible.
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