When I told my parents I was getting divorced, they were horrified. I was the kid who always had her sh** together and seemed to be living an idyllic life, with my lawyer husband, three great kids, and my beautiful home in a fantastic community.
I was also managing the care of a child with a progressive neuromuscular disorder. My mother knew how much work and time that situation took. She was worried that I couldn’t be on my own. But she didn’t know that I essentially already WAS on my own. My husband had a great job, but, even though I was working too, EVERYTHING else was left to me, including managing the doctor's appointments, therapies, and medications involved with my oldest son’s care.
So, when I was getting divorced, I knew I would be fine– I was already doing it all on my own. And I knew FOR SURE, that doing it alone and feeling proud of myself would be very different than the anger and resentment I felt from doing it alone while I had a partner whose help I desperately needed.
I also knew that feeling being alone in a marriage is the loneliest, saddest feeling in the world. And I knew that being “alone” as a single mom, would bring challenges, but also the excitement of new possibilities and the opportunity to build my future on MY TERMS. So I held strong to my dream of a happy home, free of the stress of a broken relationship. And I didn’t let the naysayers (my ex did everything he could to prevent divorce by telling me I couldn’t do it on my own) shake my confidence or my belief that I would be ok, no matter what.
The crazy thing is that Family Transitions would never have come to be if it hadn’t been for my divorce. So now, many years later, I can see how my dream for my future was too small:). So if you are worried about how you can move forward, grasping hold of that vision and refusing to let go, is a huge step.
So yes, divorce is an end to one chapter of your life. However, please take it from me that divorce is also a beginning—a doorway to a new, fulfilling chapter. The key to navigating this transition successfully lies in focusing on your ideal future rather than dwelling on the past.
Why Focusing on the Future Matters
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to get caught up in the pain, regrets, and what-ifs of the past. These emotions are natural and valid, but they can also hinder your ability to move forward. Shifting your focus to the future helps you to:
Empower Yourself: By visualizing the life you want to create, you take control of your destiny. You become an active participant in shaping your future rather than a passive observer of your past.
Reduce Stress: Dwelling on past hurts and mistakes keeps you in a cycle of negative emotions. Looking ahead to a brighter future can reduce stress and bring a sense of hope and purpose.
Create Positive Outcomes: A future-focused mindset encourages proactive decision-making. It allows you to set goals, make plans, and take steps that lead to positive outcomes for yourself and your family.
Steps to Focus on Your Ideal Future
Set Clear Goals: What do you want your life to look like post-divorce? Consider your personal, professional, and financial aspirations. Write down your goals and keep them in a place where you can see them regularly.
Visualize Success: Take time each day to visualize yourself living your ideal life. Imagine the feelings of happiness, peace, and fulfillment that come with achieving your goals.
Seek Professional Guidance: Working with a divorce coach or mediator can help you stay focused on the future. They can provide practical tools and emotional support to help you navigate the transition.
Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial. Engage in activities that nourish your body and soul, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones.
Learn from the Past: While it’s important not to dwell on the past, reflecting on your experiences can offer valuable lessons. Use these insights to inform your decisions and avoid repeating past mistakes.
The Role of Family Transitions Divorce Coaching and Mediation
At Family Transitions Divorce Coaching and Mediation, we are committed to helping you create a positive future. Our services are designed to support you in focusing on what lies ahead, rather than getting stuck in the past. We offer:
Personalized Coaching: Our coaches work with you to identify your goals and develop a plan to achieve them.
Mediation Services: We facilitate constructive conversations to help you and your spouse reach amicable agreements that benefit everyone involved.
Step-by-Step Divorce Course: For those interested in preparing themselves for this journey, or even navigating the entire process themselves, our self-guided course educates you on everything you need to know to make the right decisions for you and your family.
Emotional Support: Divorce is a challenging journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. We provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and receive compassionate guidance.
Divorce marks the end of one chapter, but it also signals the beginning of a new one. By focusing on your ideal future, you can navigate the divorce process with hope, strength, and a clear sense of direction. At Family Transitions Divorce Coaching and Mediation, we are here to help you every step of the way. Together, we can turn this transition into an opportunity for growth and renewal.
Start envisioning your ideal future today. Contact us to learn how we can support you in making your dreams a reality. Let’s build a brighter tomorrow, starting now.
Comments